Let's talk about stress, baby.
When we think about stress we often think about visible, fairly aggressive behaviours; shouting, scrunched up faces, slamming fists. And yes, for some people this is how stress surfaces, but for a lot of us the stress just bubbles away under the surface and is actually very insular. This can lead to us not even realising that we're stressed.
Have you ever been in a situation where you've had a sudden outburst over a really small, insignificant issue? Where your reaction has quite clearly been disproportionate to the problem in hand? That might have been the wake up call you needed to realise your mind had been dealing with a lot of stuff behind the scenes but on the other hand you may not have been aware that something else was causing such a heightened emotion.
Picture the scene (entirely hypothetical,of course):
You go to make yourself a tasty snack of peanut butter on toast. Upon opening the cupboard you find the last of the peanut butter has been used but the empty jar has been put back in it's usual place and no one has notified you that it's gone. Even though you use it every day. Every. Single Day. And anyone else eating it would know that. You pick up the jar and stomp through to the obvious culprit, shaking the jar wildly in their face and shriek obscenities in between words like 'inconsiderate' and 'selfish'. Then you walk back into the kitchen, put jam on your (now burnt) toast and go back to work. An hour or so later you think back to the event and it dawns on your there may have been a slight overreaction on your part & that you've got some apologising to do.
[As I said this is ENTIRELY hypothetical and definitely NEVER happened in my house but I would also mention how great peanut butter is and perhaps a reaction of some sort would still be warranted... Hypothetically of course.]
So in this case, you may have been hangry but you may also have been dealing with some completely unrelated issues that have caused you to be living on a knife edge and therefore more sensitive to small issues. That's not weird and it's not really your fault either. Stress does CRAZY things to your mind and body,. Let's look a bit deeper into this...
What is stress?
According to mentalhealth.org.uk, At the most basic level, stress is our body’s response to pressures from a situation or life event. What contributes to stress can vary hugely from person to person and differs according to our social and economic circumstances, the environment we live in and our genetic makeup. Some common features of things that can make us feel stress include experiencing something new or unexpected, something that threatens your feeling of self, or feeling you have little control over a situation.
When we encounter stress, our body is stimulated to produce stress hormones that trigger a ‘flight or fight’ response and activate our immune system. This response helps us to respond quickly to dangerous situations. However, there can be times when stress becomes excessive and too much to deal with. If our stress response is activated repeatedly, or it persists over time, the effects can result in wear and tear on the body and can cause us to feel permanently in a state of ‘fight or flight’ . Rather than helping us push through, this pressure can make us feel overwhelmed or unable to cope.
Feeling this overwhelming stress for a long period of time is often called chronic, or long-term stress, and it can impact on both physical and mental health.
Emotional indicators of stress
Everybody is different, of course, but below are a few factors to look out for in your mood that may suggest you're dealing with some level of stress.
Becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody
Feeling overwhelmed, like you are losing control or need to take control
Having difficulty relaxing and quieting your mind
Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), lonely, worthless, and depressed
Avoiding others
Cognitive indicators of stress
If you perhaps haven't noticed some of the above symptoms, it might be clearer through your coping with daily tasks. You may find you are experiencing:
Constant worrying
Racing thoughts
Forgetfulness and disorganisation
Inability to focus
Poor judgement
Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side
Physical indicators of stress
Now this is the big one, our bodies are amazingly strong wonders of the world. But they're also susceptible to a bit of a break down when your hormone levels are all out whack. Being under a lot of stress will very commonly lead to:
Low energy
Headaches
Upset stomach
Aches, pains, and tense muscles
Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
Insomnia
Frequent colds and infections
Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear, cold or sweaty hands and feet
Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing
Clenched jaw and grinding teeth
So as you can see, this little six letter word can really burrow into our entire being. It's good to check in every now and again and take stock of how you're feeling, particularly with such intense changes happening in our world at the moment.
It's completely understandable to be stressed right now, and sometimes stress can be a great thing! Personally, I do my best work when I'm under a certain level of stress - but tipping over that barrier can have extremely damaging consequences.
What can we do to cope with high levels of stress?
The main thing is that we learn to manage it, we cannot simply shut the door on work, our family & our finances just because it's all got a bit much. Unfortunately we have responsibilities and always will. Yes, we may be able to reduce some of the stress by making amendments to our life and finding better balance, but we will always be under some sort of stress - be it good or bad. So here are some techniques we can take into our daily life to help cope better when the going gets tough.
BREATHE
Our breath is an extraordinarily powerful tool and bringing awareness to it can work wonders on relieving stress & anxiety, among other things. Our resident yogi this month is a fountain of knowledge about this, I highly recommend checking in with Lucy on a Tuesday to learn more.
SWEAT IT OUT
Being active can help you to burn off nervous energy. It will not make your stress disappear, but it can make it less intense. Get out for a walk, ride a bike, take a class - just get that heart rate up & smile. (NHS)
MEDITATE
Learning simple meditation & mindfulness techniques may not send you into a state of bliss without a care in the world... but it will help you to manage your thoughts and centre that racing mind. A regular meditation practice will allow you to have a much needed tidy up of the clutter in your head, think of it as adopting a new filing system.
TALK
Whether it's to your best mate, your partner, your manager or your dog. Get some of that pressure out of your body and into the atmosphere. Even just writing things down can go along way to alleviate the feeling of stress.
As I said, none of these are a quick fix and unfortunately there is no overnight cure. But these are tools you can use to at least manage stressful periods of your life. You can find lots of advice here and some helplines if you need further assistance.
Being stressed is more than anger & shouting. It's more than work. It's more than a racing heart. And coping with it should never be simplified to being told to 'calm down'. It's a complex, constant challenge that we all face. Let's take it one day at a time and work towards minimising it, rather than hoping to erase it completely.
We're all human after all. And life can be testing. But life can also be wonderful & joyous, so let's keep moving with it.
Sending you tonnes of happy thoughts, always.
Sara xx
